30 weeks!

We have made it through 7 weeks of bed rest, 5 more to go! I had a mini breakdown last night, where I just had to go in my room and cry. Not a little cry, more like an uncontrollable sob. It is just so hard some days. I miss being a “real” wife, I miss being a “real” mom, and I miss being a “real” person. I feel like I am just a growth (a really BIG growth) on the couch that people need to take care of. I hate it! Nate and Rylee were cleaning our house last night and I was bitching about how they didn’t do it the “right” way. I am so grateful that they were doing it, period. I don’t know why I had  to nit pick the way they were dusting. Its just so frustrating to not be able to do it myself. I know, remind me in 3 months, when I have 3 kids and no time to clean, how I was complaining!

Then I felt guilty after my mini breakdown. Guilty for being so terrible to them, guilty for everything they have had to take on…but most of all guilty that I feel this way when I know that I am doing what the little girl in my belly needs in order to have the best start at life possible. No body else can do it for her, so I have to do it! Suck it up and deal with it.

So, it was a feel sorry for myself night. Today though we are celebrating (Aubree and I). After apologizing to Nate and the kids, Aubree and I shared a cup of Peppermint Mocha Coffee and celebrated that we are over 1/2 way done with bed rest and closer to officially meeting each other!